What is your identity?
How do you identify?
Are these the same questions and how do you feel when you hear them?
Are you clear on your identity or how you identify?
Do you know exactly who you are and what you stand for?
It’s a question many of our clients come to us with.
The question we asked ourselves this week is, is it really important?
What do you think?
Is Identity Important?
We sat watching a non-binary person “come out” in front of an audience of peers and they were in tears. They have a husband and they explained they are also autistic. They were in tears as they explained something about how they identified and how hard it was for them to say it out loud in front of an audience.
What we found fascinating was that this was necessary. Why is it an issue for them, or anyone else in the room or in the rest of the world?
But it is important. Because that piece of information was holding them back in many ways. The thought that that piece of information could impact their work, their friendships, their families. That piece of information could mean fighting against bullying and exclusion.
Sometimes just being you is impossible.
How to Create a Business Identity to Stand By
And in business this is no different. At Q Branch we talk about being bold. But how can you be BOLD when you are frightened about what that means? How can you be BOLD in business when you are worried who might see you and what they might think?
Some business owners are so focussed on the end goal that they can’t imagine this would even be a question, but we have worked with clients who are scared their past could catch up with them. Not that they have ever done anything wrong, but they have been in situations of no fault of their own and perhaps that could bring a whole host of frightening impacts. How can you be BOLD when that is their reality?
It's why we work on mindset alongside brand and strategy. Without a clear view of where they are going, who they are as a person and business, the road will be difficult if not impossible. How can you show up as your true authentic self when you are worried that your clients may not like that.
As we sit watching a person crying because of how they identify their gender and their neurodiversity, because of how others may think of them and how it may impact their ability to do their job in a safe way, we wondered how we are still here.
How are we still in a world where questioning our very identity, and then being afraid to show it, is still an issue?
So, when we ask if it’s important to know who you are, there are several sides.
If you are doing your thing, you are running your business, you are happy in what you are doing but there is a niggle of “I don’t know who I am”, it might not be that important, you are on a journey and enjoying the view and when you get there, you will then realise your destination. Or you may continue to evolve and that’s OK too. I’m not sure I will ever have a complete answer for that question for myself, but at each day I am sure I am developing and that’s enough for me.
If you are having that thought in your head, “I don’t know who I am”, and it’s impacting your day-to-day life and how to manage your business, perhaps it’s time to work on the big question of identity.
Where do you get your Identity?
Identity often comes from your job. And then when that goes, who are you?
Identity often comes from your role in a family (parent, wife, husband, child) and when that goes, who are you then?
Identity can come from gender and sexual desires, but it can equally be whether you have long or short hair (remember Samson got his identity from his hair).
Knowing what makes you you, is the first step to embracing all that has to offer.
I had a client in their mid-twenties who, after several sessions I realised they really liked who they are, they just didn’t know how to embrace it in society. When we met a year after coaching had ended, they said, “people say I’m cool and interesting. I’ve never been called cool and interesting”. The funny thing was, they had already been that person, they just hadn’t embraced it and felt comfortable with it. Just some tweaks to mindset completely changed their way of presenting to the world in a truly authentic way that impacted their whole life.
Their identity hadn’t changed, but how they perceived it did.
If you feel yourself and your business are struggling with how to embrace your identity, or you are still lost as to what that is, why not book a first date so we can start asking the questions you need in order to work out your identity.
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Jenny Jarvis
Founding Partner of Q Branch, Jenny is a highly trained and experienced Human Transformation Specialist, Coach and NLP Practitioner who is passionate about positive relationships and giving founders and leaders the BOLD Confidence and tools it takes to build BOLD Brands and Cultures. She is also an inspiring keynote speaker and lover of french wine and cheese.
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